I hated the use of the work 'snog' in this script, because it seems like such a colloquialism and a nasty sounding word. I did like the description of Freddy pissing on Cheyenne's coat in the cloakroom, it seemed very believable but also unexpected and shocking.I liked that this, like my own script, does not contain very much dialogue and reads more like a story or novel than a drama.
It's quite an interesting story but feels a bit predictable. I also think the ending might have been better with Freddy running off rather than dying/ his story ending.
